I saw this image the other day, and very rarely do caption posts on Facebook gather my attention, let alone enough to make me write a whole blog post on it. Without trying to sound like an utter, pompous goon but this one really grabbed me, just because I could just relate to it so much.
The realization that in June I have to start real life. I get out of education, and have to find a real job, and pay real bills, and start having real problems. And to be frank, it really fucking scares me.
Recently I feel like I’ve been trying to convince myself I’m happy. And don’t’ get me wrong, I’m not unhappy, or sad, upset, miserable, whatever. I’m just horrifically content. I know there are people out there with real problems and here I am sitting complaining that I have nothing wrong,
I feel like the past four years I have been in a routine of convincing myself this is what I want. Go to college. Learn. Go to work. Earn. Go to a gig. Spend £30. And I’m starting to think there’s more to life than selling my time and energy to pay to see a few bands a few times a year.
At the moment I’m studying a course in Music Business as I’ve been taking a music career seriously for the past 18 months. But the more I think about the more I question if that’s what I really want. Do I want to have a job with deadlines? Do I want to have targets? Do I want to spend 40 hours week sending emails? Will all of this be worth the wait just for a badass Christmas party? Do I just want the bragging rights of success more than I want the success?
I don’t know what I want from life, but what I do know is that I want to travel the world. I want to try new things and have new experiences. I want to have crazy stories that I can look back on in 60 years time and think holy shit, that was so badass. Nobody remembers the days you sat on the computer for 12 hours straight. and the nights you had plenty of sleep.